My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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