I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
