She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
