I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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