you guys were way drunker than both of me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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