hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
