so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
