Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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