then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I got inside last night via doggy door
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
