You don't have asthma, your pregnant
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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