Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
