I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
