I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
