I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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