Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
