Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
