man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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