you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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