You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
birth control should be required to get into college
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
