dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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