I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
