he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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