end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need a beard to bite.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
