i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
