I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
