and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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