when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
