It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Enjoy the penises
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
