you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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