She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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