Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
