Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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