i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
