you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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