it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
