well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
...so i touched it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't put those talents on a resume
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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