Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize