tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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