I look better un-naked...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
