Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
