And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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