Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
