I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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