and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
