arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize