I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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