Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
