apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
