saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i drank out of a bidet.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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