Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
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We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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