God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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