Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
