someone get that fucking seahorse.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize