If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
