actually, I'm a sock model
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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